The scene opens on The Party collecting loot after their battle with Dreyfus’s goons. After cleaning up, the party speaks little to each other, assumedly processing the events that have led up to this point in the career. Wanting to let somebody else make the first move as to what to do now, Morris sits down and plays a game of Dots with Akmenos, winning quite handily (35 to 1).
After their game, still unwilling to put forward any suggestions, Akmenos tries to unbuckle his pantaloons and do something nefarious into Morris’s flask; Morris quickly backs away, but realizing this rag-tag group is all he has now, finally asks, “I guess we’re stuck with each other. So what’s next?” Quinn suggests that we go to Grayson, a town that serves as a waypoint for people on their way up the road to Quo’gold.
There is little discussion on the way to Grayson. The sole entertainment comes from Akmenos trying to stir up trouble with Morris by asking how he got his tail (a continuing nonsensical razz, as Morris, like all dragonborn, has no tail).
Suddenly, the entire party falls unconscious from an unknown, but powerful, mental assault. The first to wake up are Diesa and our resident hot dog, Quinn. Diesa asks a nearby dwarf, who she thinks will be friendly to her on account of both being dwarves, what’s going on, and he reveals to her that they are to be sold into slavery. The enemy that captured us is a group of ogres led by a mysterious man, a human named Emilio Estevez. The dwarf states that Emilio is a mean one, real rough and tumble, and the “most cruel and villanious man I have ever met in my life”. The dwarf also points out Phyllis, a male human who’s been captured here longer than anybody.
Quinn and Diesa, without waking up the tenderly sleeping other members of the party, go to talk to Phyllis. Diesa greets him with a decidedly un-hearty slap on the back, which makes for an awkward moment until she asks Phyllis how long he’s been here (two weeks).
Emilio, seeing a lot of stirring and talking, comes over to the bars of the cage and yells at the prisoners. He states, “Don’t F with me. I’m a pissed off man! I’m not of this world. I used to be big, real big” (referring to a time before, as he states later when he is sleep-talking, “Mission Impossible ruined [his] career”). Emilio then returns to his tent and the ogres begin taunting the party about how they’re going to separate them: Diesa up north, Naomi into “the pile” of unwanted slaves, Akmenos in the pile, Morris to the elves, and Quinn “somewhere around here”.
Night comes and the ogres demand that we all huddle into an area beneath the cage, underground, to sleep. Morris and Akmenos refuse and the ogres punish them by dumping a barrel of feces and urine on them, that they’d been using and filling up as their toilet. Morris and Akmenos have become bros by now and continue to resist all the demands of the ogres, even going so far as to fling poop back at them, hitting one on the chin directly. Finally the ogres walk away and Morris tells Akmenos that they should go together to the elves and that an escape from elvish lands into the refuge of Dragon Run would be easy. They consider this.
As Akmenos and Morris lie above ground discussing and thinking, Phyllis describes a plan of escape to the rest of the party. One of the two ogre guards who guards the underground area, who Phyllis refers to as “Chumpsky”, goes off to take a poop at the same time every night. Phyllis’s plan is to slip a laxative herb into his drink that will have him pooping all night, leaving only one ogre watching them. They will get him to come nearby the cage and then beat him senseless, take his keys, and escape the cage. Quinn is nominated to then sneak to Emilio’s tent and light off fireworks that he stores inside, to distract the rest of the above-ground guards, and then they will escape the grounds. Diesa guffaws heartily with joy and approval upon hearing the plan.
The plan is a success. As the rogue, Quinn is well suited to sneaking the herb into the drink, and Chumpsky chugs the drink and goes off to the bathroom. Naomi loudly states, “I’m gonna teleport out!” which draws the attention of the second ogre, who comes over to threaten Naomi but is then beaten down by everyone who can get near him, including Akmenos who has heard the commotion and come to help.
Quinn easily sneaks into Emilio’s tent, takes the fireworks, and sets them off behind the tent. Akmenos and Morris grab the ogre who’d come over to the underground part of the cage, drag him to the above-ground part, and set him down where there is still poop and pee smeared all over; they then join the rest of the party in fleeing amidst the chaos of ogres running all over and the fireworks going off prettily in the sky above.
Naomi is hit by a javelin while escaping, but soldiers on. Morris is chased closely by ogres but uses a quick fire breath aimed behind him to incapacitate the nearest guard. Emilio begins bemoaning his luck and drops a black disc on the ground, hitting it with a strange staff and sending it flying at Diesa. Diesa attempts to dodge by jumping, but severely misjudges and actually jumps into it; it smacks her hard directly in the forehead and she is knocked out cold before she hits the ground. Morris runs back to her, lifts her into a fireman hold, and carries her out. Akmenos is able to find the well-spoken ogre he’d verbablly sparred with before, and squares off with him, attempting three times to impale the ogre with his horns before finally succeeding on the fourth try. In a grisly and frankly disgusting display, he then rips out the ogre’s tongue and shoves it down the ogre’s throat. Three guards catch up to Quinn, but Quinn jumps into the air, kicks the nearest one in the face to knock him back towards the others, then lands, and before they have a chance to think he swipes his blade across all three of their stomachs and they roll over in pain. Quinn also finds a small boy, Chimee, who is about to be smashed by an ogre, and saves him. They later become buds as he is an orphan and Quinn is the savior.
When the party and the other captured folk have gotten far away from the encampment, Phyllis thanks the party for helping them, and mentions that we ought to go to Hangman’s Rest, a one last bastion of freedom run by humans, where we’ll be safe. Phyllis tells us if we stick around this part of the world, we’ll be re-captured, because every town excepting Hangman’s Rest is run by dwarves. The dwarves, the party learns, were not truly interested in justice and not only is the party banished from Quo’gold, but they will be arrested on sight in any dwarven-run town at all. Hangman’s Rest will be a week’s walk.
On the way, Morris and Akmenos quickly discuss a party name but the subject is dropped with no conclusion or real engagement. Morris runs out of the booze in his flask after the first day and spends the rest of the week a bit surly. Diesa thanks Morris for saving her but little else is said between the party the rest of the week.
At the gates of Hangman’s Rest, Phyllis gives the guards a sign of safe passage, which Morris commits to memory, and they are admitted and welcomed with open arms and directed to the bar, where they are told in no uncertain terms that neither their money, nor their jokes, are any good here. Morris and Akmenos get quite dapper and tipsy together at the bar, while the bartender chats them up. The bartender heard of the escape and is interested in us. With no real attempt to be on our guard, we discuss things openly with the bartender. Morris asks him about Ironwhelper and bartender tells him and Akmenos that Zeke was deposed from the council, “taken down quickly and hard”, which they take to mean that he is killed. Ironwhelper has assumed his place on the council.
In a universally amusing bout of drunken shenanigans, Akmenos and Morris begin to really open up. Akmenos asks what Morris thinks of this development and Morris says that Zeke must either be dead… or dead! and just cracks up, which gives Akmenos the ol’ ping-pong giggles. Quinn, who is now assistant to the co-leader of the party, comes in, and Akmenos and Morris relay the information from the bartender before being pushed around by Diesa, stumbling their way out of the bar, puking on each other and on the floor, and heading off to find some hot ladies to spend the night with.
Morning comes and the hangover is the only regret anybody seems to have about the night before. The party is sent to see Dresden Bobanks, who will give them work to do. On their way, Akmenos chats up a rough-and-tumble pirate-type guy at a rough-and-tumble pirate-type tavern in the rough-and-tumble pirate-type area of the town. The RTPTG tells Akmenos that the pirates in the city aren’t pillagers; instead, they attend to jobs that nobody else wants to do and which may be a bit shady. They absolutely do not allow dwarves inside Hangman’s Rest, and if dwarves attempt to force entry, they release a giant demonic beast that is held under the city. After this conversation, the session ends, to resume next time with meeting Dresden.